Trust Your Instincts
by SassyRaydorGirl
Summary: "No matter how far...I won't give up on you."
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

More than four weeks had passed since the day Alex Dawson had arrived at Holby to inform Cameron and Serena of Bernie's death. Cameron had barely said more than a few words to his friends and colleagues, Serena was doing all she could for the young man, the son of the woman she had loved, the woman she still loved. Something had been nagging at Serena ever since Alex had arrived, there had never been a body, only Alex word that Bernie was dead, all because she had identified Bernie's body armour. Serena looked up when she heard the soft knock on her office door, Ric stepping inside.

"Thought I'd check on you?" He smiled.

"Sorry, I haven't been much use today, have I?"

"You okay…sorry stupid question."

Serena sat up straight in her chair, opening Bernie's journal, going back to the last page, smiling at the drawing of Serena's garden. Rick took the chair that was by the door, and brought it over to sit beside Serena, as she continued to look at the drawing.

"I just don't understand it all, everything Alex has told us about Bernie's funeral plans, their engagement. Bernie would never rush in to anything, let alone an engagement. She's only been away for eight months."

"We can't imagine what it's like to be over there in a dangerous country. I suppose it's only natural that you develop quick friendships, relationships out there when you're faced with that kind of danger every day."

"But engaged, I just don't believe she'd do that, and why draw this? Why draw a plan for our future if she had no intentions of ever coming back here."

"What might have been perhaps."

"I just don't buy it, and neither does Cameron and I'm sorry but identifying her body armour is not proof that she's dead."

"Is it possible that you just don't want to accept Bernie's death?"

"Of course I don't want to accept her death, or Elinor's, nobody wants to accept the loss of a loved one, but I'd accept it if there was proof, a body, not clothing. Until I have that, I just can't."

"If she were alive, what would you do?"

"I know it's my fault she left in the first place, Leah was my big mistake and I know I wasn't sure about Bernie long term."

"And now?"

"I never should have let her walk out of Albie's that night, I've never been the same since she left, I know that. I try to put her at the back of my mind but, these past few weeks have just made me realise what a bloody fool I've been."

"What do you want to do?"

"Without a body, as far as I'm concerned, she's still missing, and I'll be damned if I'm going to give up on her."

"Serena, you really need to think about this. Think about what this would do to Cameron, he's already devastated over Bernie, he's already dealt with a funeral, a memorial."

"A funeral with no body? I know alright…I'll talk to him first."

"You aren't actually thinking about going out to Nairobi are you?"

"If that's what it takes to find her, then yes."

"Serena?"

"I can't let this rest until I know, I have to know Ric. I need to see a body, dead or alive."

…

Serena walked into AAU the next morning, a small niggle of nerves in the pit of her stomach at the thought of the conversation she was going to have to have with Cameron. She dumped her belongings in her office before stepping out in to her department. Donna and Cameron attending to one of their many patients. Fletch was at the desk, getting discharge papers for another patient when Serena came up to him.

"Morning Fletch?"

"Oh hey, how are you today?"

Serena could see the sympathy in his eyes when he asked the question, knowing she was still raw.

"I'm okay, how's Cameron this morning?"

"Quiet, same as yesterday and the day before and…"

"Yes alright I get the idea, when you're finished with what you're doing, could you take over from him and ask him to come to my office please?"

"Yeah sure, everything okay?"

"Not too sure, as soon as you can."

Serena gave a small smiled before retreating back to her office.

…

Serena watched as Fletch made his way over to Cameron a little while later, seeing the worried look on the young man's face as he looked towards the office. Serena took a deep breath as he made his way over to the office, standing in the doorway.

"Fletch said you wanted a word?"

"Yes, come in and close the door behind you."

Cameron did as she asked, standing awkwardly by the desk.

"Sit down there." She said, pointing to the sofa.

He sat down, Serena wheeling her own chair over so she was in front of him.

"Have I done something wrong?" He asked.

"No, no you haven't done anything wrong. I wanted to talk to you about something personal."

"Alex?"

"Your mother."

Serena saw the sad look on his face, and in that moment all she wanted to do was hold him.

"What about Mum?"

"Cameron, in your heart…do you believe that Bernie's dead?"

"There's no body."

"Do you believe she's dead."

"No, it would take more than a bomb to take my mum out."

"That's what I thought."

"Why are you asking me?"

"I feel the same way you do, I need proof that she's no longer here, and frankly I don't believe a word Alex has told us."

"Their engagement?"

"Cameron I don't know what your mother told you about why we parted but, I made a mistake, a stupid one and it's one that I regret. I still love your mother, and if there's a chance that she's still alive then I want to go and find her."

"Go….to Nairobi?"

"If that's what it take then yes."

"You can't."

"Cameron I…"

"There's a chance Mum's already dead and now you want to go over there and risk your own life."

"I just want answers."

"And so do I but you going over there is insane, dangerous."

"Well, I have to do something?"

"Yeah but what, without you risking your own life. I don't know, I'll have a think. I just wanted to make sure you'd be okay with me pursuing any avenues. I wouldn't want to upset you?"

"If there's a chance of finding Mum alive, then I'll agree with anything, except you going to Nairobi."

"If it's the only option?"

"Then I come too."

"Oh Cameron I…"

"If you're going to risk you life by going out there for Mum, then so am I? I need to get back to my patient."

Serena nodded her head as Cameron got up and went back to work.

…

To Be Continued…


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry for the delay lovelies xx**

**Chapter 2**

…

Ric stepped in to Serena's office mid afternoon, to see his friend with her had down, trying to look busy.

"Am I disturbing you?" He asked as Serena looked up from the file in front of her.

"Not at all."

She straightened herself up as Ric came inside, closing the door behind him. He sat on the edge of the desk as Serena looked up at him.

"Well, did you manage to talk to Cameron about Bernie?"

"I did."

"How did it go?"

"Al-right I think, he certainly understands where I'm coming from, and god knows he trusts Alex about as much as I do at the moment."

"Did you tell him about you intentions?"

"Yes al-right, you were correct. Cameron doesn't think it's such a good idea for me to go over there either, that it's far too dangerous, given what's possibly happened to Bernie."

"Nice to see he got his common sense from his mother."

"I need answers and I'm not going to get them sitting on my backside."

"Serena?"

"I've telephoned someone, a detective and I…"

"A real detective?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well where did you find this so called detective, did you go to the police or is this someone you've found on the internet?"

Serena stood up quickly, her chair rolling back against the filing cabinet behind her.

"Does it matter?"

"Of course it matters." Ric stated, hearing the frustration in Serena's voice.

"I can't just go to the police and tell them that I don't believe Bernie is dead, I need proof and I god knows I don't have that. Private detectives aren't all seedy, she came with good credentials. She used too be a detective with Scotland Yard until she retired."

"Retired or fired?"

"You are such a bloody cynic aren't you?"

"Well if I am it's only because I care about my friend and I don't want someone taking advantage of them."

"She's the real deal Ric, I'm not a bloody fool. I contacted her former boss and he assured me she was the real deal, okay?"

"Very well, so this detective, is she going over there to look for Bernie?"

"I haven't met the woman yet, as a matter of fact I'm meeting with her after work?"

"Where?"

"Why?"

"Well if it's okay with you, I'd like to be there."

"You are joking."

"I just want to see this woman for myself, check her out. I'm just concerned, not just for you but for Cameron. You've both been through so much already and I wouldn't want to see you get hurt."

"Fine, you can come."

"Is Cameron going to be there?"

"I don't want him there, not yet. I want to be sure myself."

"Really?"

Serena saw the smirk that crossed Ric's lips.

"Oh shut up, I'm no fool. I wouldn't dream of allowing Cameron to meet her without making sure she's legitimate for myself."

"What time are you meeting her?"

"Just after seven?"

"I'll meet you over there then?"

"Fine, see you then."

Ric offered a warm smiled before getting up and leaving the office, Serena looking back at the detective's personnel file again.

…

Serena sat in the corner of Albi's on the sofa as she waited for the detective to arrive, she was on her second glass of Shiraz as she looked at her watch to see the the woman was ten minutes late. She took a drink of her wine as Ric appeared beside her.

"I'm early?" He said.

"No, she's late." Serena stated.

"Good first impression." He said as he took a seat beside her.

"I don't want to hear "I told you so". I'm really not in the mood."

"I wasn't planning too, look Serena I…"

"Excuse me, sorry…Serena Campbell?"

Serena looked up to see a woman in her mid fifties, pale skin, mouse hair and green eyes looking back at her. She was dressed in jeans and a light green flowery blouse with a cream jacket on top.

"I am, and you must be the late detective?"

"Maria Oliver, I apologise for my lateness, there was an accident on the bypass."

"Oh, well I can't really be angry then can I." She replied with a small smile.

"Is this your husband?"

"Ric Griffin, a friend and colleague." He said, getting up to shake her hand.

"Very nice to meet you Mr Griffin."

"Can I get you a drink?"

"Just an orange juice for me, thank you."

Ric made his way over to the bar and got her drink as Maria made her self comfortable on the sofa opposite Serena, searching inside her big handbag and bringing out a file, placing it on the table as Ric arrived back with her drink.

"Thank you Mr Griffin."

"Ric, please."

"Ric…okay well from what I understand in your email, you partner Berenice Wolfe was…"

"Bernie…"

"My apologies, Bernie was killed in action…is that correct?"

"Well I…"

Ric could see Serena was getting upset already, taking hold of her hand.

"At this point she's missing in action." Ric answered.

"She was caught in an explosion in…Nairobi, a week ago, correct?"

"That's right."

"But there's no body?"

Serena closed her eyes tightly at the question.

"Well she…"

"Mr Griffin, Ric please. I need to hear from Serena, if you don't mind."

"She's upset…"

"Yes I understand that, but she is Bernie's partner, I need to hear from her first hand the details and why she wants my help. I'm not trying to upset you, either of you but you contacted me, therefore you want this, **you Serena**."

"She's right…I'm sorry, it's just, it's still a little raw for me."

"I know this is hard for you, but if we have any chance of locating your partner, then I'm going to have to step on some toes and they won't all be welcome. I need details, and I need to be prepared for what I'm walking in to over there."

"If you go?" Ric asked.

"Yes…now first…tell me about Bernie, and then I want to know all about this Alex woman, can you do that for me?"

Maria leaned over, taking a hold of Serena's hand, forcing the other woman to look at her.

"I can."

"Good, let's get started then, shall we."

…

To Be Continued…


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Serena sat over from Maria, while Ric remained silent as Serena spoke about her life with Bernie, how they became a couple and the reason Bernie left the final time.

"Serena this Leah, she wasn't angry about you ending the affair was she?"

"Well she didn't kill Bernie if that's what you mean?"

"You're sure?"

"Leah's a lot of things but killing my partner is a definite no, and anyway, she's not the type of person to fly all the way to Nairobi, a disaster zone, definitely not."

"I had to ask."

"I didn't treat Bernie well in the end, I know that. I made a huge mistake with Leah, I was lonely, angry at Bernie for not coming back sooner, I was a bloody fool."

"What about this Alex, what's she like?"

"In all honesty I don't know her that well. I know that when Bernie first joined us here at Holby it was because she'd had a relationship with Alex and she was still married to Marcus at the time."

"Do you trust Alex?"

"From what little I know of her, no."

"You sound very definite."

"Bernie's only been away for eight months, and according to Alex, in that time, they've restarted their relationship and are engaged."

"Not Bernie then?"

"No."

Maria could see how angry Serena was when Alex was mentioned, Ric squeezing her arm in support.

"Okay, how does Bernie's family feel about you hiring me to investigate the circumstances of Bernie's death?"

"Possible death?"

"My apologies, her ex husband?"

"Well he's her ex so I really don't see why he should matter."

"He is still the father of her children."

"Yes well, in all honesty I've never really spoken to him properly."

"Her children."

"Her son Cam, he works with us, works directly with me."

"And you've spoken to him about what your plans are?"

"Yes."

"And he's in favour of it."

"He is."

"I'll need to speak to him directly."

"Is that necessary?"

"With all due respect Serena, her immediate family really need to give the go ahead for me to do this."

"I'm the one paying you."

"I understand that, but wouldn't you fell more at ease if the family were on board with this too."

"Cam is on board."

"And I believe you, however I do still need to speak to him."

"Very well, is first thing tomorrow convenient for you, he starts his shift at eight?"

"That's fine."

"Well we're on AAU so come by my office and I'll introduce you to him."

"Good, in the meantime, I'll see what I can find out about Alex and I know you said she wouldn't have anything to do with Bernie but I'm still going to do a quick background on Leah, just to make you aware."

"Very well."

"Good, well it was nice to meet you Ric, and Serena I will you and Cam tomorrow at eight."

"I'll see you then."

"Good night."

"Yes, goodbye." Ric smiled.

As Maria left, Serena downed what was left of her wine before Ric spoke.

"Are you okay?"

"Honestly, no."

"You know Cameron is on board with this?"

"It's not that."

"What is it?"

"I'm just so scared that what Maria finds, isn't going to be what I want to hear. I'm terrified Bernie's dead and that I'm never going to get the opportunity to make things right with her."

Serena shook her head before looking towards Ric, who simply put his arm around her.

…

Before Cam could even go to his first patient the next morning, Serena was on him, leading him in to her office.

"Is something wrong?" He asked, looking at the stranger a Serena's desk.

"Not at all Cameron, my names Maria Oliver, I'm a detective?"

"Serena?"

"I've hired her to trace Bernie."

"I thought you were going over to Nairobi?"

"I considered it, but Ric thinks it's safer if someone more prepared for these things ought to go instead."

"What kind of detective are you?" He asked.

"I used too work for Scotland Yard until I retired, I now work as a private detective. I am very qualified."

"Do you think you can find my mother?"

"I'll certainly do the best I can, for my paperwork, I need a family member to sign off on this case."

"But Ms Campbell's the one paying you to do this?"

"Yes I know but it's for legal reasons, you understand, the law."

"It's al-right Cam, you can sign it. Anything that help find Bernie is worth it."

Cam nodded before taking a pen from the pot and signing Maria's document.

"Wonderful, well I'll get this paperwork sent off and I should be able to start in a few days, okay?"

Maria got to her feet, ready to leave.

"It was nice to meet you Cam, I'll do my best for your mother. Serena."

"Thank you Maria, I'll wait to hear from you."

As Maria left, Cam turned back to Serena who looked sad.

"Do you think she'll find mum?"

"I hope so Cam, I really hope so."

…

To Be Continued…


End file.
